Category: Workdays

Community Service at 3000rpm

One thing we all just ate up was that if we wanted to be a Good Employee and Get A Raise, we should spend our “off” time doing things for the good of the business, without pay. How many of us wasted time and our own money going to work potlucks, work outings, and other…


Remote Inuit Village Really Picked a Black Panther as Their School Mascot

The childhood behavior that drove my mother nuts – besides the fire-setting – was probably my late-night roaming. I remember being five years old and creeping out of my bedroom window carrying nothing more than a little doll blanket and just…going for a walk. It was a chance for me to be alone and not…


Be More Normal-Looking

I don’t know if I’m just lucky or if I got into the funeral industry at the right time, but I’ve never had real trouble finding work…other than that rather unfortunate three-year period when I became sort of confused and joined what turned out to be a couple of criminal organizations and bounced around between…


The One-Person Call

One small matter to address – I totally don’t care if other funeral directors want to take credit for my work. I understand people are trying to do me a favor when they tell me they heard a funeral director claim my embalming job, and I don’t care, because I already got what I wanted….


It’s Not Stupid At All

I just broke a massive sweat doing a bodyweight workout in my room. I’m old enough to get injured in my sleep now, so I had to cancel my gym membership (temporarily) and swap it for physical therapy, resistance bands and wonderful, wonderful Prednisone. If you’re arranging a funeral, and you have a request that…


What It’s Like to Work For SCI

If you’re in mortuary school, or have been looking for a job for a while, you’ve probably been warned not to work for SCI. Nearly everyone in the industry works for SCI – the uninterestingly-named Service Corporation International – at some point. They’re the largest funeral service corporation in the world, so if you live…


How Much Does She Weigh?

It has finally happened – I have a bad back. I’ve gotten old. I own heating pads and go to physical therapy and sometimes even have to turn down work. Several years ago, I was the one who got called when there was a 350-lb body in the morgue. I’ve lifted 300-lb bodies off toilet…


101 Things

In the manner of another blogger I follow, Caleb Wilde, here are 101 things I have done as a funeral director. 1. Dressed a body in one of my own suits when she had no clothes 2. Put one of my own cashmere scarves on a body to cover an incision 3. Worked a whole…


Death – It’s Happening!

I love going on removals. I love being the family’s first contact with the funeral home, the chance to make a good first impression, and since I’m also an embalmer, I know the importance of not wrapping the face too tightly in plastic or carelessly storing the body in the cooler without regard to positioning….


How to Dress a Deceased Person

When I did my internship and actually touched a dead body for the first time, I understood why people said it was harder than dressing a squirming baby. My boss told me if I was ever having trouble getting the clothing on, I could cut it. I could split suit jackets up the back, cut…