It’s basically a huge scam.

If you feel good about yourself because you signed up to be an organ donor, I am here to ruin your day. In order to donate organs, you have to specify this in a legal document – the “D” on your drivers license is not enough.

Also, you need to die while young and healthy, and your organs need to be harvested while your heart is still beating.

Your organs won’t go to some little kid with cancer or whatever. They will go to the next name on the list; whoever can afford the procedure.

Old people, or those harvested several hours after death, can donate either eyes or skin. However, the eyes will be used for research only. They will not be transplanted to give sight to a blind person.

It is illegal to sell human body parts, yet it happens. They promise the family a “free cremation” if the family agrees to donate all organs. The organs and bones are then sold off, and the cremated remains returned to the family consist of a ribcage and hands. The harvesters make a good six figures off your relative, and the organs are all sold to research facilities.

When you donate your eyes, the procurement will usually be carried out by a medical student who will hack away at the face without regard to your appearance for viewing. Your eyes will bruise, swell and leak. The best I can do in those cases is use lots of makeup and pour cauterizing chemicals in your eye sockets and stuff them with cotton.

When you donate bones, you are given to me as basically a human rag doll. A head, ribcage, hands and feet all held together by skin only. I put some PVC pipes where your arms and legs would be, then sew your skin around them.

When you donate skin, you become a slippery mess and there is nothing to hold in the embalming fluid I have injected. Your body is then covered in formaldehyde gel and wrapped in plastic. You will leak.

When you have donated all of these things…those are the days where I have to remind myself that I actually went to school for this when I could have done something else.

You aren’t saving lives! You aren’t making a difference! You’re making corrupt people rich and making my job harder.